wildehacked:

heelgripper:

tibby:

people on this website will complain about how their high school english teachers forced them to learn about how blue curtains represent depression and how that was stupid because they’re so smart and they already know how to interpret all media perfectly. and then will act as if the cult from midsommar is some kind of feminist girlpower movement.

Hey, people can be dumb AND have terrible high school English teachers. And blue curtains representing depression IS stupid, and shallow, and I will hate that kind of analysis until I die. There are unfathomable depths of bad teaching out there. Teach kids how to analyze the important stuff in stories, and ask questions like: “What’s this cult trying to do? What do we think of their methods? What are the moral implications of their actions? How does the story frame the main character’s emotional arc?” 

Blue fucking curtains are all most of us get. 

While you’re definitely right that people can be dumb and have terrible English teachers, I actually don’t think close reading is dumb? I think close reading is one of the wild joys of….being a reader? 

Blue curtains always representing depression is silly. But in the right story it might be true. More than that, in the right essay it might be amazing? 

Like, I absolutely agree that learning about rhetoric, which is more what you’re talking about, is critical. But close reading can be this joyful exploration of a story! 

I remember when I was in high school I wrote an essay about Narcissus and Goldmund that basically argued “they’re gay! they’re in love! please respect my position, Mr. English Teacher,” and I spent most of the essay close-reading the scene where Narcissus rescues Goldmund from his prison cell, and the significance of Narcissus bringing in a candle that was almost burnt out, but still illuminating the dark cell, and how the descriptive words Hesse used for the darkness and the light of the candle were like other words he’d used earlier to describe bags of money, and then I connected this to an argument about how Narcissus not only illuminates truth and self-identity to Goldmund, he also metaphorically replenishes him (or something. this is an essay i wrote as a teenager :P) 

why I remember this essay, above all the other essays I wrote in high school, is because I remember feeling absolutely GIDDY for having made those connections, for being able to craft an argument through symbolism, for feeling like the point I felt a little daring to be making could be backed up with evidence even though I thought I was probably going against the grain of Hesse’s intentions in the scene. it didn’t feel like something I was making up, it felt like something I’d discovered. it felt right. 

and my english teacher circled the paragraph where I’d connected the candle to the money and wrote “this kind of close reading is what literary analysis is all about” in the margin. he used purple pen. i remember what his handwriting looked like in that margin. because it was like I’d cracked this secret code, and my english teacher understood me, we were speaking the secret language together! 

without context, “the candle represents love and the money represents self-worth” sounds a lot like “the blue curtains represent depression.” 

with context, “the candle represents love” is basically why I became an English major.

(via stressedsyllable)

dbrann11:

j0jin-deactivated20210309:

Funniest thing I have seen in 2020

(via drunkwalkhme)

randomslasher:

twentyonelizards:

- urgently marched into A&E and said ‘we’re having knee pain!!’ to the confused receptionist. i had to explain that it was only my knee and that he was just worried

- when asked to tag me in a meme of ‘what water are you?’, said ‘you are the ocean: home to all friends’

- loved ‘filthy gorgeous’ and, rather than learning the words, learned ‘all three parts in the song where they ring a triangle’

- after we had an argument about him not ‘getting’ my ADHD, i caught him halfway through a three hour playlist of lectures on ADHD, with a pen in hand, taking notes

- he suffered a TBI last summer and he did not like the orienting questions they ask (’what year is it? what day is it?’ etc). when asked ‘do you know where you are?’, he cracked one eye open and angrily said ‘in bed!’

- he played knack 2 and hated it. when i asked why he was still playing it, he said ‘so i never have to play it again’. he got every achievement and as soon as he got the last one he stood up, ejected the disc and returned it to the store

- lately he’s given up on making lunch so he just drinks huel which is a meal replacement shake, except huel is kind of boring so he sometimes puts nesquick strawberry powder in there

- my favourite drink is pepsi max. when asked about his dreams for the future, they often involve ‘being rich enough to find a way to pump pepsi max directly into our house’

- one time in our first year of dating i hadn’t seen him in weeks, whereas we normally saw each other all day every day, so i was gonna go stay with him for a couple days. he had a temporary job (i’m talking 2 weeks total) at the time and i was bummed that i was gonna be alone at his for a bit, but w/e. he was texting me like ‘work is going okay, in the line for the canteen right now’ while i got on the bus. i found the key where he said it was, i found a note on the table like ‘hi love! the wifi code is [password], I’ll be back at 5!’, and then I went into the lounge and he was there. he was lying on a fold-out bed with Marvin Gaye playing. the TV was on a powerpoint slide that said ‘Welcome, Jess. I quit my job.’ he was entirely naked except for a cushion with the letter ‘D’ over his crotch. im 95% sure there were candles

- we play the game Rimworld, where you micromanage a colony of people on an alien planet. he uses it entirely to simulate a peaceful colony, mostly of women, who have a large number of animals they care for and train. one time he got this random event where all the women in the colony got a psychic mood boost and he was like ‘honestly that’s my life goal’

- when he was in hospital and his cognitive functions were slowly coming back, he looked up from twitter with horror and said ‘jess… is the american president a racist?’

- we were playing Articulate, which is a game where you have to describe a word without saying the word itself. His partner said ‘when you’re beginning sex, you are…’. he, without a second of hesitation, yelled ‘FOREPLAY’. the answer was actually ‘initiating’, but my ego grew like fourteen times

- one time he asked me what guacamole was, and i told him, and he said ‘if it’s made up of things that already have names why does it have a different name?’ i have not let him live this down yet

- i used to have an eating disorder, and whilst i’m good 99.9% of the time now i occasionally do have wobbles. one time i’d eaten some mini-donuts and i told him ‘i kind of want to check the calories on those…’, so he immediately pulled the label off and ate it

- i lost him for like twenty minutes at a uni event, and when i found him he presented me with a pepsi max badge and said ‘i rode this mechanical bull to try and win you a year’s supply but i fell off pretty quickly. sorry.’

- we won the ‘best couple’ award in our year at uni, but neither of us were there to collect it because i was ill and he left halfway through to come home and take care of me

- one time he wasn’t paying attention while making lunch and he cracked an egg directly into the bin. the look of confusion on his face was priceless.

- on the rare occasions when i wake up before him, when i kiss him/ touch him he makes these little like… activation sounds? you know like when you touch a cat? it’s like those

This is the cutest thing I have read with my own eyes

(via lunacornfan2k23)

ms-doodle-pants:

mellrak:

i don’t even get what’s wrong with this gif

i mean she pours the soda perfectly why do they all shit their pants

“GOD DAMMIT CLARA I WANTED SPRITE”

(via stressedsyllable)

masochist-incarnate:

minecraft:

minecraft:

bigbisonburger:

minecraft:

1qazs3edc 5gb 7um

Gamers talking about pc specs

me saying hi! with my keyboard

This is a wretched form of code. I will reward you

(via lunacornfan2k23)

not-semi-perfect:

kingofthehilltoday:

fishyswedes:

kingofthehilltoday:

Sexually and emotionally repressed Hank Hill manages to show more affection for his wife than Sasuke can manage for his.

I mean you’re right but sasuke doesn’t have A LEFT ARM

THEN WHY DID HE STAND ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF HIS WIFE

Cause he doesnt love her

(via lunacornfan2k23)